I have been working with couples for many years. I have studied many approaches to couples counseling including the models of Harville Hendrix, John Gottman, Dan Wile, and Janice Abrahms Spring.
I love working with couples because of the enormous opportunity we have to grow by facing the challenges of our relationships. There are many ways I work with couples. Sometimes I teach new ways to communicate to help create productive conflict that can bring two people closer together. Other times, I look at some of the reasons conflict arises that often have to do with unresolved hurts from earlier experiences, often childhood.
Sexuality is a very important part of any intimate relationship. When the topic needs to be addressed, I invite clients to speak about their sexual concerns with each other in ways that are respectful and honest. Sexuality is a sacred and intimate part of our lives that needs to be dealt with clearly and gently.
Humor is an essential part of a healthy relationship. I am more than happy to help couples find ways to see the humor in their relationships.
As always, I focus on things about my clients that are valuable and likable. I mirror those things to each member of the couple to help them remember how to notice and speak up about what they like about each other, as they typically did as the relationship was starting.
Often couples counseling builds upon strengths. Something powerful brought the couple together. I like to find out what that was, and, if it was lost in the struggle of daily life, how to recapture and reestablish it.
I often use the Meyer's Briggs Type Indicator, a commonly used test that helps define personality styles in a way that can help cleints manage conflict more productively.
I work with heterosexual as well as gay and lesbian couples.